ROME, Italy — Call it “Divorce Italian Style” version 2.0.
In Pietro Germi’s Oscar-winning 1961 comedy of that name, the unfaithful protagonist, unable to divorce his smothering wife, plots to kill her. If it had been set in 2014, he could have just let her stumble upon his WhatsApp account.
The instant messaging service acquired by Facebook this year for $19 billion is cited in nearly half of all Italian divorce proceedings — more than any other source of information, whether amorous text messages or emails, late-night phone calls, handwritten notes, or even lipstick-stained collars — according to the Italian Association of Matrimonial Lawyers.
“No one is saying WhatsApp is the cause of the divorces,” says Gian Ettore Gassani, president of the Matrimonial Lawyers group. “The leading cause is infidelity, but WhatsApp is now the most common way for one partner to discover infidelity in the other.”
The WhatsApp program and other new forms of communication such as Facebook and Skype may enable illicit relationships because they make it easier to discreetly exchange messages and even risqué photos.
The most typical scenario, Gasani says, is an unfaithful partner leaving his or her mobile phone lying around while in the shower or out for a walk. A message arrives or the partner opens WhatsApp to snoop.
Men are more likely to be caught that way than women, although that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re unfaithful more often.
“Men are most likely to save messages or photos from lovers they can go back to,” Gassani says. “Women are more likely to take one look and then delete.”
Once caught, it’s not easy to divorce in Italy, thanks mostly to the influence of the Catholic Church.
When Germi made his film, divorce was completely illegal. That changed in 1970, despite a subsequent series of referenda that sought to repeal the country’s new law allowing divorce.
Even now, obtaining a divorce is a long and complicated process requiring a three-year separation that may include court-ordered couples therapy to foster reconciliation.
Although WhatsApp and other new technologies may be prompting more discoveries about infidelity in partners, they’re also playing into very old aspects of the Italian psyche.
“Italians love to receive and give attention,” says Laura Duranti, a Milan-based psychologist who specializes in the social impact of technology. “While the modern world and evolving social norms have acted to limit that in some ways, programs like WhatsApp can make it easier. It’s a modern technology tapping into some very old needs and desires.”
Some Italians say those caught out via WhatsApp are careless.
“No one should be looking at a partner’s phone or computer, it’s an invasion of privacy,” says Mario Lince, a 30-year-old pastry shop worker who’s engaged to be married. “It should be a question of trust.
“But just to be safe,” he adds, “everyone should use a secret password to block access.”
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Maria Teresa Benedetta agrees.
“I don’t think most couples want to know if a partner has been unfaithful,” the unattached 22-year-old university student says. “But if they find out of course there’s going to be trouble.”
Despite the impact of instant messaging and other new forms of communication, it could be much greater, says Gassani, the attorney. Many people use passwords and delete messages, and snooping on someone’s phone privately is usually difficult.
“If WhatsApp messages could be intercepted by wiretaps like phone calls,” he says, “the divorce rate in Italy might be 100 times higher.”
You know about cat people. And you know about dog people. (You know about dog people.)
But has it ever occurred to you that there are also cat countries and dog countries?
Well, there are. Whole countries. And thanks to data on pet ownership in 54 countries from market research firm Euromonitor, we now know which ones they are.
In brief, South America and much of Asia are all about dogs. Meanwhile, cats have captured the hearts of Western Europeans — except for those in Spain, Portugal and Ireland.
The Washington Post has a nice map that lays it all out.
“Some regions, like the Middle East and part of Africa, have an especially long-standing appreciation of cats,” Jared Koerten, a pet industry analyst at Euromonitor, told the Washington Post. “In Latin America it’s the complete opposite. Dogs are part of family life there.”
Here are some more site-specific stats: Cats outnumber dogs 3-to-1 in Switzerland, Austria and Turkey.
In India, pet dogs outnumber pet cats 10-to-1. Pet dogs also dominate in China, though to a lesser extent (2.5-to-1). And yes, even counting the ones dyed to look like pandas.
Voicing concern over increasing incidents of drunk driving, a Delhi court has said that this “menace” has been plaguing the national capital and the problem should be dealt with “sternly”.
“The menace of drunk driving has been plaguing the city for quite a long time. Despite every possible steps being taken by the state government as well as traffic regulating authorities, there are no signs of decrease in the incidents of drunk driving. This problem has to be dealt with sternly,” Additional Sessions Judge Sanjay Bansal said.
The court’s observations came while deciding the appeals of four persons, who were convicted and sentenced to varying jail terms of five and 10 days by a magistrate for driving their vehicles in a drunken state.
The court, however, reduced the jail terms of Tasleem Khan, Muntiaz Ahmed, Dinesh Singh and Arvind Kumar Verma to imprisonment till the rising of the court.
ASJ Bansal took the lenient view and reduced their jail term considering that they were first time offenders and they had already deposited the fine amount.
Tasleem and Muntiaz were sentenced to 10 days in jail by a magisterial court while Dinesh and Arvind were awarded five days imprisonment each.
The four men had pleaded guilty before the trial court. They were convicted for driving their vehicles under influence of liquor and the alcohol content found in their blood was more than the permissible limits.
The trial court had also imposed a fine of Rs 5,200, Rs 2,000, Rs 2,000 and Rs 500 on Tasleem, Muntiaz, Dinesh and Arvind respectively. It had also suspended Dinesh and Arvind’s driving licence for six months.
They had sought setting aside of the sentence given by the trial court on the ground that they had to support their families and it was their first conviction.
New Delhi: At least 71 pilots were grounded this year for various reasons, including being found tipsy, with about half of them belonging to no-frill carriers SpiceJet and IndiGo, Rajya Sabha was informed on Tuesday.
19 pilots of SpiceJet and 16 of IndiGo were grounded by aviation regulator DGCA on two counts — testing positive in pre-flight breathalyser tests and being responsible for some incidents involving flight operation.
The grounded pilot count for other airlines due to the same reasons was 11 each for Air India and Jet Airways, two each for Air India Charters and Alliance Air and one each for GoAir and JetLite.
Of the total 71 pilots grounded, a total of 24 were punished for being found positive for breathalyser tests, 39 for incidents and eight for lapsed pilot licence, according to the data given by Civil Aviation Minister Ashok Gajapathi Raju in reply to a written question.
MUMBAI: Mumbai will soon see more number of taxis on the roads as the transport department has decide to allot 7,800 taxi permits on Saturday.
The lottery will be held in the presence of chief minister Devendra Fadnavis at 5 pm on Saturday. The lottery draw proceedings will be telecasted lives at all the RTOs in Mumbai.
The permits has been distributed across all the Regional Transport Offices in Mumbai Metropolitan Regional Transport Authority (MMRTA) region, which includes Thane and Navi Mumbai also.
One the important condition for those getting the permit is that that they will have to ply brand new taxis. Earlier, one could use a second-hand car for a new permit.
The conditions also include that the applicant should have no crime record for a year, and should be willing to install GPS/GPRS as and when asked by the transport department. The person should not have had a crime record too.
AL Quadros, general secretary of Mumbai Taximen’s union, “The new taxis are expected to hit the road by January 2015.”
Apart form 7,843 taxi permits that whose draw will be announced today, the transport department has also put on offer 7,500 odd permits to fleet taxi operators since January.
Quadros said, “We are going to oppose the allotment of taxis to fleet taxi operators. It should be given to residents of Mumbai only.”
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Burdwan: Five persons, including three Bangladeshi women, were arrested in West Bengal’s Burdwan district for alleged involvement in women trafficking.
Based on a tip off, the five were held when they were about to board a train to Mumbai near the Burdwan Railway Station last night, District Superintendent of Police SMH Mirza said here today.
While the three arrested Bangladeshi women were identified as Taslima Begum, Sahana Bibi and Urmi Bibi, the two local linkmen arrested were Banshidhar Sao and his son Sardapani Sao.
The five had been staying in a rented house at the JN Mitra lane of Burdwan town from where they were working out a plan for trafficking women, Mirza said.
The kingpin of the group was Taslima from whom a Bangladesh passport and pan card and voter identity card of Maharashtra were seized, he said.
The five will be produced in the court later in the day, the SP said.
Priyanka Chopra hit headlines a few days back when Mumbai police busted a sex racket in one of her Mumbai properties, which she had rented out to a spa. The actor who was in the Capital on Saturday, told us that she is trying to find out the truth, and will support the police in their investigation.
“I have a lot of properties, which I have given out on rent, and I don’t know what happens over there. I was completely unaware of this. I still don’t know what the truth is. The matter is under investigation. We are law abiding citizens, and it is unfortunate that something like this happened. We have sent a legal notice, if it is true, then we don’t want them in our property,” Priyanka says.
According to reports, police busted the racket being run under the garb of a spa in a building in Andheri owned by her, and that three women were rescued and the manager was arrested in the raid that was conducted early last month.
But that’s not all that the 32-year-old has been in news for. Recently, it was reported that she fainted on the sets of Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s film while she was shooting a four-page monologue. While some reports blamed it on the work load, there were others which said that the harsh lights on the set were too much for the actor to take.
However, she says that the matter was not as big as it was made out to be. “I didn’t faint, I just swooned. Everyone panicked. I have fainted in the past too, as I do tend to overwork myself at times. However, this time I didn’t faint,” she says.
The results of the Women’s Health Readers’ Sex Survey 2014 are in. See how you stack up against the women who took it.
or our sex special issue, we mapped the sexual preferences of the WH reader with an online poll that ran across our social media for a week. Over1,200 WH readers responded anonymously. We found a mix of startling stats (5.1%have had 12 or more sexual partners!) and progressive attitudes (63.88% use condoms as a form of protection). Then we called in the experts to give ustheir take on the results. Plus, we pulled out research-backed info on how to do it bigger, better and safer.
-by Team WH
(You love…) Adventure
33.46% women hook up with people they barely know or don’t know at all.
Expert take
One stat that took us by surprise: 12.08% expect to have sex after the first date! “Hooking up with random people gives women a sense of anonymity;they can assume whatever character they like without revealing their realselves. This gives them freedom to express themselves more without guilt,”says Anuja Kapur, Delhi-based psychologist.
A word of caution, though: “If you only have random encounters and not relationships, it is likely that there is some emotional discord in your life or you have body-esteem issues.” So look into those before you leap into bed. “Having intercourse with many strangers could lead to guilt. To get over it, you may end up with another stranger, creating a cycle that could have negative effects on your psyche.” Ask yourself ifit’s a peer group thing. “You may not see the risks if all your friendshave multiple partners they don’t know,” says Kapur.
Have used a vibrator – 20.21%
(You love…) Experimentation
40.72% do it doggie style
Expert take
In response to how diverse the sexual repertoire was, 71.80% had tried oral sex, while 18.25% said they’d indulged in some form of bondage (BDSM’s gone mainstream with Fifty Shades of Grey). “The book has helped many articulate what they merely thought about,” says VarkhaChulani, clinical psychologist and WH columnist.”Erotica has given women a chance to voice their desires without guilt or shame. Those who have needed that nudge have been propelled by it.” There are also more channels to get the gyan from-channels that give us the woman’s POV too (will we see men in the bunny costume?).”The Internet and erotica are exposing us to things we’ve never experienced before. Women see themselves as equal to men and are not afraid to take the reins. Expression of sexuality is not only important for relationships, it also makes a woman feel empowered and in control,” says Delhi-based Dr Aditya Kapoor, member of the European Society of Sexual Medicine.
Make It Better
Sit on a pillow on the edge of the bed and lie back, resting your head onanother pillow. With him kneeling down in front of you, place your feet on hisshoulders. Have him envelop your clitoris in his mouth and suck gently whilepenetrating your vagina with his fingers.
(You love…) Self-Gratification
43.93% masturbate, when there’s no guy around to give a hand.
Expert take
We asked what excited you most about sex. Amongst a range of choices that included “his orgasm”, “connecting with your partner” and “seeking new experiences”, 49.44% said it was their own orgasm in asexual encounter. “The whole idea of a woman being a recipient and a man being the doer has gone out the window,” says Kapoor. “Educated, financially independent women are taking the initiative and becoming more assertive about their sexuality. Women are expecting and exploring more.”But though women are conscious of individual needs, they don’t seem preoccupied by them: feeling connected with a partner, feeling loved and expressing loverate high- 40.91% feel that sex is not just a physical need but an emotion alone.
Make It Better:
Having trouble sleeping? Masturbation is a pressure release. A recent studypublished in the Journal of Neuro Quantologylisted four distinct types of female orgasms (clitoral, vaginal, blended ormultiple orgasms). You should try them all-starting tonight.
(You love…) Classic Sex (Sometimes)
26.40% women have foreplay with their partners for 5-15 minutes.
Expert take
Women are turning over a new (fig) leaf when it comes to trying new things, but the most popular sex position remains missionary (50.51% still like it best). “The missionary position would likely be the most preferred, not because it’s better but because it’s the safe default. However, woman-on-top and rear-entry are probably much more pleasurable for the woman simply because they are both better at providing clitoral and vaginal stimulation, thereby enhancing the likelihood of orgasms, both single and multiple,” says WH advisor Dr Vijay Nagaswami, Chennai-based psychiatrist and psychotherapist. Then there’s foreplay. “It’s a keyaspect of the whole sexual experience,” he adds. “It helps, not onlyin building a better emotional connect with the partner, but also in priming the body better for the final sexual act. As important as foreplay is after-play, as it enhances the emotional connect. Certainly beats turning over and going to sleep!”
Make It Better:
Play a sexy game to up the foreplay ante-try Bumps and Grinds,a classic drinking-and-stripping board game. Or go to Adultsexygames.com forfree downloadable games.
(You love…) Risk-Taking
31.50% use the withdrawal method as means of contraception.
Expert take
Experts are concerned at the level of risk-taking. “The withdrawalmethod is the least effective method of birth control. Moreover, it is unsafeand pre-ejaculate can also get you pregnant-yes, it does contain baby gravy.The risk of infection and STDs is high especially if you have multiplepartners,” says gynaecologist Dr Sadhana Kala, Moolchand Hospital, Delhi. “Since no method of birthcontrol is 100% safe, it’s a good idea to use two methods: barrier (condom) andhormonal (like the Pill). (See the article 8 Ways to OutsmartSperm, p 54). Also, “In these days of sexually transmitted diseasesand hidden cam videos uploaded onto porn sites, I think some care exercised inpartner choice would be the prudent way to go. I mean when we spend so muchtime researching personal care products before using them, surely doing thesame when it comes to who we sleep with, isn’t such a bad idea!” says Nagaswami.
Are You Serious? 18.78% claimed to have sex all the time
Expert Take
“All the time? When do they go grocery shopping then? Or earn the money they need to go grocery shopping?” asks Nagaswami. “When talking about sex, particularly undercover of the anonymity that a survey offers, people do tend to exaggerate wildly when it comes to sex and sexual prowess. In the past, it was the guys who were given to bragging, but today’s woman is evidently not too far behind in this department. I’d take this with a lot of salt.” However, regular sex does have its benefits. A study at Wilkes University found that having sexonce or twice a week boosts your immune system.
10.30% never ever watch porn and think it’s wrong!
Expert take
“Women who think porn is wrong have been brought up that way-their upbringing dictates sex as a taboo subject. There is a whole stigma attached to porn because a lot of women think it’s a man thing. All porn does is act as a stimulus to get you in the mood for a sexual act,” says Kapur. However, if porn becomes your mainstay, it can be problematic. “Many people get their sex education from porn today and tend to feel inadequate when they see porn stars going at it apparently for hours together,” says Nagaswami.”They don’t always realize that porn stars are porn stars because they’re abnormally endowed and therefore, tend to believe that they’re not as good when it comes to either sexual equipment or prowess. While occasionally viewing porn can be educative and even heighten the sexual anticipation, particularly if the couple do it together, it tends to become repetitive and monotonous, and worse, addictive, after a while.”
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